WOW UPDATE [Liam]

Lately I've kinda fallen off my whole hip-hop listening thing, dunno exactly why but I've done a complete 180 to music with no words at all.  I recently picked up "The Last of the Mohicans" soundtrack, Aphex Twin: Drukqs, the soundtrack to Powaqqatsi and Orbital: The Altogether.  Kind of a random group, but I like them all for different reasons. Oh yeah, and I picked up a copy of The Streets: Original Pirate Material which is imo really well produced and features some really, really shitty vocals. He's like white Kanye West, but with better tracks and flows (which says NOTHING as his flow sucks goat pubes). My subconscious actually did me a favor and lost the cd somewhere I can't remember, so that's the end of that. If I could have gotten ahold of an instrumental version instead, I'd probably be listening to it right now.
 
I was browsing the SF Chronicle today and decided that I should make my own little visual movie rating system, so I just photoshopped a couple little roughs together, and I figure I'll try them out while I'm in rant mode:


 
I, Robot (Theatres)


owns my face.

I recommend this movie for anyone whose name is not Ben Blue :).  If you thought this movie assaulted you with shameless and omnipresent mass media cross-promotion before you watched it, get ready for the next level once you're in the theatre and ten bucks light. Possibly the most shameless shouts EVER go to Converse, Audi and I suppose USR as well, with Big Willy sporting a pair of "Vintage 2004" black leather Converse All-Star Hi-Tops that draw numerous overt complements from other speaking characters as well as himself. He calls the shoes "a thing of beauty," and at one point after a battle with robots leaves one of his shoes covered in muck, says something to the degree of "now you gone and done it." WAAOOOOW. The Audi placement is a little more tasteful, in the form of glowing logos on the cars (which look really TT). U.S. Robotics is actually incorporated into the core of the story, so I can't really complain there.
While annoying, these touches at least have the courtesy to remain on the outskirts of the story; with the exception of an occasional foot-level camera shot, we never have to break up any meaningful action to take our medicine as consumers. I joked with Brian during the movie that "I, Robot" in fact referred to us as fans, since I was half-considering a pair of flossy Converse by the end of the film (Will Smith's wardrobe seems tailored to look good with those shoes). Enough about that. BEYOND the consumer whore incidents, "I, Robot" is solid summer action fare, with a genuinely engaging story and no glaring action defects. Sunny, the talking robot, steals the best money shots from Willy though when it comes to melee combat. Funny how technology IS surpassing humans when it comes to stuff like fight choreography (see: Spider Man 2), in a very "I, Robot" sort of way. The only part that really pissed me off about the movie was [drag-select for spoiler] when the robots revolt against the humans, and the humans (led by Shia LeBouf's monkey ass) organize into a raggedy bat and molotov-cocktail wielding 'resistance' that taunts with anti-robot slurs and effectively demonstrates exactly why it is we should be ruled by robots (only beings as irrational as us do some straight up repugnant shit like that)[end spoiler] all in all, the movie offers an interesting premise, genuinely multi-dimensional protagonists, and a pretty satisfying 2 hours. It's not great or anything, but then it never really pretends to be... all in all I was pleasantly surprised.  
 
OTHER POSSIBLE RATINGS:

bootleg it.



i swear, there was a fire...