my stealth mullet and spider man 2 [Liam]
STEALTH MULLET:
Ok so I went to my dad's barber today, seems like a real nice guy, I'll probably go back... but I gotta say our relationship got off to a really rocky start; i left feeling pretty good but when i got back I realized I was the victim of a stealth mullet attack.
A stealth mullet, in case you're wondering, is a 'do with subtle mullet characteristics that masquerades as an ordinary haircut. The same rules apply; least hair on the sides, more on the top, more on the back, but perhaps without the extremely exaggerated proportions of the full-on classic "business up front, party out back" joe-dirt look. Before I dive any further into the specifics of my haircut though, lemme do a little lead in.
Approaching the barber shop, (which I've decided to keep anonymous because it's more fun that way) the first thing that struck me was that it was the only non-asian establishment in the shopping center, with the exception of a couple banks. There was a sign that listed prices: it was uniformly $10 for adult haircuts, but there was a special note that flat-tops were $10. I found this puzzling. Upon entering I observed that there was indeed a 30-something caucasian male with dirty blonde hair and a moustache taking advantage of this bargain deal and getting the fattest, bushiest, tallest flat-top haircut i've seen in quite some time (since the 80's, to be specific). Anyhow, fast forward to me sitting in the next chair over, telling the barber I'd like it short on the sides and in back, and a bit longer on top. Fairly straightforward. Buzz buzz, snip snip, I discover in the mirror that my hair is combed back into a shape that emphasizes the height of the crown of my head (suppose i needed a hair net) and my sides are indeed short. Very short. I tell him I'd like more off the top, he does his thing for a while, turns me around, I make a quick judgement call that this is closer to what I want and I can un-comb my hair and fix it when i get home. I leave figuring if nothing else i can rock it like
Edward James Olmos with the combed back hair, and go home with a positive attitude. Then I start examining those angles you can't get at when someone's holding your chair in place, and discover that THIS in fact is the hair distribution on my head:
(A) Thick on top.
(B) Thin on sides. Sideburns are straight up see-through
(C) Thicker in back than on the sides. Thick. Straight off the top and down the back thick.
(D) Actual side view of where the inconsistent side-thinning happens. I look like a mushroom.
OH FUCK... "YOU'VE GOT MULLET!"
"Gahhhhhh Owned"
SPIDER MAN 2:
In other news, I went to go see Spider-Man 2. It was dope. I won't spoil anything, but you gotta come prepared for a certain amount of straight Sam Raimi super-cheese. When you consider the protagonist, premise or any of the other fairly unbelievable foundations on which Spider-Man lore is built, it really isn't that hard to suspend your disbelief just a little bit more to accept and enjoy some of the heavy-handed storytelling the man throws your way. This point has been done to death a million times, but you gotta feel for Peter Parker to enjoy what Spider-Man stories are all about, and that means manufacturing some pretty shitty situations for him at some cost in terms of the pure volume of hero action. For as much of Parker as you'll get in this movie, he remains a genuinely likeable and sympathy-worthy character. Honestly, if you just bear with it and keep the groans down I almost guarantee you will enjoy the movie immensely :D. The plot build-ups are WORTH IT. The ending pays off about a million times better than the nerfed down climax of the first Spider-Man (if you don't know they nixed a world trade center showdown for obvious reasons).
I'm always very hard on the action scenes in movies, and I gotta say on top of everything else the action is DOPE in this flick. Absolutely top-notch choreography and treatment of powers... in this respect it far outdoes any superhero movie, even X2 and the early Batmans. Shit, it outdoes a lot of stuff.
Ok so I went to my dad's barber today, seems like a real nice guy, I'll probably go back... but I gotta say our relationship got off to a really rocky start; i left feeling pretty good but when i got back I realized I was the victim of a stealth mullet attack.
A stealth mullet, in case you're wondering, is a 'do with subtle mullet characteristics that masquerades as an ordinary haircut. The same rules apply; least hair on the sides, more on the top, more on the back, but perhaps without the extremely exaggerated proportions of the full-on classic "business up front, party out back" joe-dirt look. Before I dive any further into the specifics of my haircut though, lemme do a little lead in.
Approaching the barber shop, (which I've decided to keep anonymous because it's more fun that way) the first thing that struck me was that it was the only non-asian establishment in the shopping center, with the exception of a couple banks. There was a sign that listed prices: it was uniformly $10 for adult haircuts, but there was a special note that flat-tops were $10. I found this puzzling. Upon entering I observed that there was indeed a 30-something caucasian male with dirty blonde hair and a moustache taking advantage of this bargain deal and getting the fattest, bushiest, tallest flat-top haircut i've seen in quite some time (since the 80's, to be specific). Anyhow, fast forward to me sitting in the next chair over, telling the barber I'd like it short on the sides and in back, and a bit longer on top. Fairly straightforward. Buzz buzz, snip snip, I discover in the mirror that my hair is combed back into a shape that emphasizes the height of the crown of my head (suppose i needed a hair net) and my sides are indeed short. Very short. I tell him I'd like more off the top, he does his thing for a while, turns me around, I make a quick judgement call that this is closer to what I want and I can un-comb my hair and fix it when i get home. I leave figuring if nothing else i can rock it like
Edward James Olmos with the combed back hair, and go home with a positive attitude. Then I start examining those angles you can't get at when someone's holding your chair in place, and discover that THIS in fact is the hair distribution on my head: (A) Thick on top.
(B) Thin on sides. Sideburns are straight up see-through
(C) Thicker in back than on the sides. Thick. Straight off the top and down the back thick.
(D) Actual side view of where the inconsistent side-thinning happens. I look like a mushroom.
OH FUCK... "YOU'VE GOT MULLET!"
"Gahhhhhh Owned"SPIDER MAN 2:
In other news, I went to go see Spider-Man 2. It was dope. I won't spoil anything, but you gotta come prepared for a certain amount of straight Sam Raimi super-cheese. When you consider the protagonist, premise or any of the other fairly unbelievable foundations on which Spider-Man lore is built, it really isn't that hard to suspend your disbelief just a little bit more to accept and enjoy some of the heavy-handed storytelling the man throws your way. This point has been done to death a million times, but you gotta feel for Peter Parker to enjoy what Spider-Man stories are all about, and that means manufacturing some pretty shitty situations for him at some cost in terms of the pure volume of hero action. For as much of Parker as you'll get in this movie, he remains a genuinely likeable and sympathy-worthy character. Honestly, if you just bear with it and keep the groans down I almost guarantee you will enjoy the movie immensely :D. The plot build-ups are WORTH IT. The ending pays off about a million times better than the nerfed down climax of the first Spider-Man (if you don't know they nixed a world trade center showdown for obvious reasons).
I'm always very hard on the action scenes in movies, and I gotta say on top of everything else the action is DOPE in this flick. Absolutely top-notch choreography and treatment of powers... in this respect it far outdoes any superhero movie, even X2 and the early Batmans. Shit, it outdoes a lot of stuff.
