macgyver stylings [Liam]
ok so the other day i bring a heineken upstairs and i wanna open it, and i can't find a bottle opener anywhere. i says to me: "well fuck if i'm gonna climb all the way down the stairs into the kitchen again, it's PUZZLE time!"
what follows is most analogous to those scenes in Terminator 1 and 2 where we flash into "arnoldvision" as the cyborg examines items or people, looking for a target that meets some specific set of specifications... in this case i initiated a search for any common household object that could be used to pry the cap off a bottle of beer. by the way if you are wondering about the absence of capital letters or certain grievous grammatical or spelling errors i'm sure i've strewn in my wake, it's because i've been practicing the soon-to-be-revealed bottle opening technique while sitting here (and i'll be damned if i let a perfectly good beer go to waste).
So anyway, it goes a little something like this:
scanning my room...
scanning my desk...
scanning my random junk drawer...
scanning dbo's old desk. TARGET ACQUIRED!!!!
basically our problem requires any rigid metal object with an edge that can catch the "teeth" ringing a bottlecap, and a gap of at least about a thumb's width but no greater than the diameter of said bottlecap. what makes a 3-hole punch especially good for this task is that the length of this gap can be adjusted at will by way of the spring-loaded hinge that opens the front of the device.
1.
beer, 3-hole punch. 3-hole punch, beer.
2.
the jaws of the contraption. this is where the magic happens.
3.
catching the lip of the cap.
4.
(closeup)
5.
that psssshhhk-clink sound we love to hear.
6.
bottlecap vanquished. enjoy! the wonderful liver-rotting potion that clearly brought you this thoroughly boring post. GNITE! :-D
what follows is most analogous to those scenes in Terminator 1 and 2 where we flash into "arnoldvision" as the cyborg examines items or people, looking for a target that meets some specific set of specifications... in this case i initiated a search for any common household object that could be used to pry the cap off a bottle of beer. by the way if you are wondering about the absence of capital letters or certain grievous grammatical or spelling errors i'm sure i've strewn in my wake, it's because i've been practicing the soon-to-be-revealed bottle opening technique while sitting here (and i'll be damned if i let a perfectly good beer go to waste).
So anyway, it goes a little something like this:
scanning my room...
scanning my desk...
scanning my random junk drawer...
scanning dbo's old desk. TARGET ACQUIRED!!!!
basically our problem requires any rigid metal object with an edge that can catch the "teeth" ringing a bottlecap, and a gap of at least about a thumb's width but no greater than the diameter of said bottlecap. what makes a 3-hole punch especially good for this task is that the length of this gap can be adjusted at will by way of the spring-loaded hinge that opens the front of the device.
1.
beer, 3-hole punch. 3-hole punch, beer.
2.
the jaws of the contraption. this is where the magic happens.
3.
catching the lip of the cap.
4.
(closeup)
5.
that psssshhhk-clink sound we love to hear.
6.
bottlecap vanquished. enjoy! the wonderful liver-rotting potion that clearly brought you this thoroughly boring post. GNITE! :-D
2 Comments:
i think everyone needs a personal unorthodox bottle opening device and then make it a friendster category. you could probably learn a lot more from that than what their favorite books are.
Dude, there was a huge useful edge of the desk in that second picture. I admire the resourcfulness, but make a fist and be a man!
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home