You Can Do It. Nicorette Can Help. [matthew]

You ever get that craving where you want a stick of gum for no other purpose but to satisfy an oral fixation? Your breath is okay, you're not looking for flavor... you just want to chew?

Well a couple months ago, I had such a craving so I headed to my neighborhood Ralph's to score me some Juicy Fruit. But lo and behold, no gum in the whole damn store. Needing to satisfy my fix, I started begging the bag boy. The girl at the registered empathized, but told me that the only thing they had was Nicorette.

So I took it. Good enough for me. I just wanted something chewy. When she rang it up, it turned out to be more expensive than I would have liked, but I forked over the cash... I mean I was a captive audience.

I unwrapped my first piece. It looked like gum. Smelled like gum. No difference. I popped it in my mouth. It even TASTED like gum. And damned if it didn't satisfy my fix. And it made me look cool too.

Pimping my 1990 Toyota Camry, I pulled up next to a car full of chic adolescent miscreants who dismissed me at first. Then, one in the backseat who had his window rolled down announced to the others, "Dude. That guy's not chewing gum; he's got Nicorette!" I waited til the light changed before I turned and gave them a badass "wassup" nod. Yeah. Chewing Nicorette made me cool.

It was so damn expensive though. It got to the point where I was chewing a pack a day. I'd frequently take breaks at work, and let's admit it. I was a chain chewer. I couldn't help it though. Work was getting stressful, and I'd get these cravings more and more often. It got to a point where I needed something stronger. This gum was great, but I wanted nicotine in a more direct form.

So for budgetary and addictive reasons, I switched to cigarettes. They were considerably cheaper and my jaw became a lot less tired. The stimulation was better too. I mean, really, that shit went straight to my brain. Fuck the gum.

Then one morning, I woke up and realized I was a smoker. And what a wonderful relief it was. Time after time in high school and college, I tried to start smoking, and every time I'd make a damn fool of myself. I'd start coughing or I would smell like ass afterward or I would just forget to smoke again soon enough after so that I could develop a dependency. But now I'd done it! I was finally addicted! And it was all because of that gum.

Thank you Nicorette for easing my transition into a life of smoking. It really was 3 easy steps.