healthier than a tobacco donut [Liam]
-i really love going for runs around 7pm or so when i get home. you get to smell all kinds of ethnically diverse eats. such things are important reminders for me that union city is still dope.
-i've been having a lot of strange dreams lately... and for some reason remembering them, at least in part.
about a week and a half ago, i had a dream that there was some kind of zombie epidemic. it was definitely a nightmare, but i remember being disappointed when my alarm clock woke me up for work. such is the nature of my bizarre fascination with the idea of a hometown zombie incident. i maintain that something cool would have happened given a full 8-hour night for my subconscious to work with.
a few nights later i had a dream that i was living in an abandoned ritzy hotel piano bar. there were no bar patrons and no pianist, but my friends did come visit me at my new digs. they were impressed.
then this week i had a dream that i was driving in the rain past an unprotected onramp on some kind of one-lane street when a police car came up the ramp and skidded in front of me. i was unable to stop in time and i slid into the side of his car and we both crashed into some kind of concrete wall. he ended up calling for this guy in a suit who seemed lawyerish and very assertive. he introduced himself and asked my name... then he was like "ok liam, here's how it's going to be" (in the ostensibly polite but rather obviously aggressive and unconcerned tone favored by hard-sell practitioners and low-tier authority figures). then he opened my car door and started alternately hitting me with vicious jabs to the gut and kidneys and demanding that i sign some kind of document. i have since come to realize that this slick, clinical, authoritative man represents my own personal darth vader in every respect. he let up and walked back to the squad car for a moment, and i hatched the bright idea to get the cop's car number and license. i remember it being immediately apparent to me that i should write it twice and hide one copy as he would inevitably find me out and beat me into relinquishing my little note. unfortunately i could not will myself to write fast enough as he turned around again. he was not amused. some time later i woke up for work, and caught myself checking for bruises while the cobwebs were still clearing. what... the... hell. i don't know what's more disturbing, the dream itself or my urge to get back into that dream and run that fucker over (despite understanding that he is of course a figment of my own loopy subconscious).
i can't remember too much of my latest dream but it did involve two seperate incidents with a pair of evil twins in the same car, the car exploding, and one escaping and climbing away on a nearby cliff face in a construction worker disguise. it happened TWICE. the second time i actually thought to myself "how unoriginal." yeah... i have no idea what the hell THAT one's about.
-i should warn you before the next time i post-- my humor cycles through different phases, and right now it's set to "self-amusement." you may be on board with me. you may not. let's try a test.
co-worker: ok, we've got a lot of orders in the shop, so we need to be printing, cutting and shipping today.
me: my plans for bicycle racing... dashed. damn you, world.
-i've been having a lot of strange dreams lately... and for some reason remembering them, at least in part.
about a week and a half ago, i had a dream that there was some kind of zombie epidemic. it was definitely a nightmare, but i remember being disappointed when my alarm clock woke me up for work. such is the nature of my bizarre fascination with the idea of a hometown zombie incident. i maintain that something cool would have happened given a full 8-hour night for my subconscious to work with.
a few nights later i had a dream that i was living in an abandoned ritzy hotel piano bar. there were no bar patrons and no pianist, but my friends did come visit me at my new digs. they were impressed.
then this week i had a dream that i was driving in the rain past an unprotected onramp on some kind of one-lane street when a police car came up the ramp and skidded in front of me. i was unable to stop in time and i slid into the side of his car and we both crashed into some kind of concrete wall. he ended up calling for this guy in a suit who seemed lawyerish and very assertive. he introduced himself and asked my name... then he was like "ok liam, here's how it's going to be" (in the ostensibly polite but rather obviously aggressive and unconcerned tone favored by hard-sell practitioners and low-tier authority figures). then he opened my car door and started alternately hitting me with vicious jabs to the gut and kidneys and demanding that i sign some kind of document. i have since come to realize that this slick, clinical, authoritative man represents my own personal darth vader in every respect. he let up and walked back to the squad car for a moment, and i hatched the bright idea to get the cop's car number and license. i remember it being immediately apparent to me that i should write it twice and hide one copy as he would inevitably find me out and beat me into relinquishing my little note. unfortunately i could not will myself to write fast enough as he turned around again. he was not amused. some time later i woke up for work, and caught myself checking for bruises while the cobwebs were still clearing. what... the... hell. i don't know what's more disturbing, the dream itself or my urge to get back into that dream and run that fucker over (despite understanding that he is of course a figment of my own loopy subconscious).
i can't remember too much of my latest dream but it did involve two seperate incidents with a pair of evil twins in the same car, the car exploding, and one escaping and climbing away on a nearby cliff face in a construction worker disguise. it happened TWICE. the second time i actually thought to myself "how unoriginal." yeah... i have no idea what the hell THAT one's about.
-i should warn you before the next time i post-- my humor cycles through different phases, and right now it's set to "self-amusement." you may be on board with me. you may not. let's try a test.
co-worker: ok, we've got a lot of orders in the shop, so we need to be printing, cutting and shipping today.
me: my plans for bicycle racing... dashed. damn you, world.
1 Comments:
The breaks never work when I drive in my dreams. It's kind of scary.
Union City rocks. But no one at work believes me.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home